On Sunday at the end of my monthly writing group (I have a weekly writing group and a monthly one, lucky me!), each woman in the group drew a Gaia Oracle card. Not surprisingly, the cards had potent meaning for us all. My card is the one you see to the left: Night Wind.
The message of Night Wind is “Facing Fear, Subconscious Release, and Healing.” When I looked deeply into the card and noticed the dark colors, the swaying tree, and then read the meaning, goosebumps prickled on my arms.
Since my last post, I received my melanoma results, which revealed that all the cancer had been removed. I had been so full of fear and I felt relief with the news. Not elated or celebratory, interestingly, but contemplative and relieved. More than that, though, I’ve noticed that I’ve been a bit numb. I have a lot of healing work to do related to this scary diagnosis — and all it brings up!
In essence, this card is a reflection of the subconscious trying to help me with fear or anxiety through disturbed sleep patterns and vivid dreams. My mind, indeed, has been processing much in my sleep often causing me to feel exhausted when I wake. My dreams are intricate, complicated, emotional, and confusing. Sometimes they are nightmares, but mostly I have the same dream over and over, but painted slightly differently each time by my mind.
In my dream, I am sorting things. Most often I am in my childhood home and I am sorting and packing my things. My family is packing as well. I see every object with such clarity. Sometimes my beloved parakeet Zelda (RIP) appears in my dream, but always, I forget that she’s alive and realize I haven’t fed her in weeks. I bring her back to life with food and water. And I sort and pack and get ready to leave.
I have several interpretations of this recurring dream, and I’m sure you have some ideas, too, but what is so powerful is that the Gaia card I drew, “Night Wind,” reflected that feeling of instability, fear, and darkness that comes with dealing with my issues.
What in your life do you feel keeps resurfacing from your subconscious because you haven’t resolved or acknowledged it in your conscious life? Write for 10 minutes. Get it all out. What images reappear in your dreams? What healing do you feel is still needed in your life? After 10 minutes of writing, get out pens or crayons and draw what you feel is stuck deep inside. Notice what colors, shapes, or patterns surface. What does this tell you?