Time to be the lighthouse for yourself. Yep, I am talking self-acceptance — of the radical variety.
I love SARK’s book Make Your Creative Dreams Real and I am particularly fond of her words on radical self-acceptance:
“If we don’t accept ourselves, we won’t accept all or part of our creative dreams. We can practice self-acceptance and still wish to change or improve parts of ourselves. The basis of radical self-acceptance asks us to accept how or who we already are before we make any changes.”
Whoa. I have to re-write one of her sentences for emphasis because I am feeling rather wind-gusted by it: “We can practice self-acceptance and still wish to change or improve parts of ourselves.” Get that? I’m still letting it sink in. I think many of us place ourselves in an either/or binary with change: we have to think we suck in order to make change. What SARK says is just the opposite: love yourself first, suckitude and all, and then the changes will happen.
SARK also writes, “Often awareness is all that’s needed for a shift to take place.” So awareness (and love and understanding and acceptance) are needed for our own expansion and transformation.
Sometimes when I work with my clients, I find that their speaking a truth (on whatever level — physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual) releases a tension in the body or a blocked chakra by just the acknowledgement of the feeling or truth. There was no great insight or solution, but just an affirmation of what is. And boom: a transformation right beneath my hands!
Find some aspect of yourself that you feel lives in the suckitude category (that’s our judgment, right? — it doesn’t mean it’s true, rather we feel it’s true) and first acknowledge it. Sometimes that first stage is really hard. Be gentle on yourself. Then see if you can work toward acceptance of it — sweet talk it, ask it questions, learn about it, see if you can understand it — and then allow it to be. That is your action toward change. You need do nothing else at this point. Find your way to acceptance and the action steps toward transformation will expand right in front of you.