Question #4

This question is one that I know many are curious about…so it must be answered. Hold onto your hats, folks, because here it comes:

What do you do when someone gets a boner as you are giving them a massage? 

My quick answer is this: nothing.

MassageRoomErections are natural and come and go willy-nilly. Erections aren’t necessarily a sign of sexual arousal and when the “tent” appears beneath the sheet during a massage, I mostly ignore it.

I’ve never had a client do this, but if one seemed to be uncomfortable or fidgety — or even showing signs of sexual arousal — I would check in with my client to make sure that they were feeling comfortable  by asking them in a very subtle, gentle way if they wanted me to change anything about the massage experience. I might also make sure I was focusing my massage at the head or feet to draw attention away from the pelvic region, if it seemed that the client was embarrassed. I have never had anyone make an advance at me during a massage (thank goodness!), only over the phone (and that’s another story altogether!).

Honestly, the tent appears sometimes, I note it, and continue with my massage.

So here’s the formula:

Benign boner + relaxed and comfortable client =  just keep on keepin’ on.

Whew!  Now that’s some food for thought for your evening!

with blooming acceptance,



About Courtney Putnam

I first came to healing work through art and writing. Creating collage art and poetry in particular allowed me to deeply understand the benefit of self-expression in the healing process. But, I also began to see the benefit of bodywork (manual work in the form of massage and energywork in the form of Reiki) as keys to unlocking the emotional stresses we hold in our bodies. I became a Reiki practitioner in 2002, received an MFA in Creative Writing in 2003, received my massage license in the spring of 2006, and became a Reiki Master in 2010. In my practice I bring together these three areas -- the body, the mind, and the spirit (or energy body) -- so others may experience profound and positive change in their lives.
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